I’m going to make a personal post now that involves me talking about a friend of mine passing away.

Please scroll on if you don’t feel like reading it right now, I don’t mind. 

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I’m literally just fuming over nothing really.

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Seriously though. 

I’m going to be weird and shower while there are guests in the apartment. 

That’s weird, right? 

Like, you visit someone’s place and then one of the residents decides to get naked in the other room to groom him/herself while knowing that they have company in the next room. 

Like, you know full well that once you turn on the water, they’ll be imagining you naked and maybe time how long it takes you to get clean. If you go under a certain time, you might as well not have gone in the shower at all and seem like you’re just stalling and hopingthey’d leave. But if you go over a certain time, then they have to question what exactly are you washing…?

There’s no winning in this game.

Just some self assessment about myself. 

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I want to talk about seeing what you want to see. <vague post is vague>

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That’s what it seems like.

We live in a world where people do stupid things. We also live in a world where actions speak louder than words. With that, I’m in full agreement.

However, it is my belief that it isn’t the “stupid things” people do that define them. It’s the great things they do in spite of having done these stupid things that define who they are. If you can’t look beyond these stupid things, then you’ll miss out on what else they have to offer.

Everyone has room to grow, but growing takes time.

With that said, I also agree with you that it is not yours or anyone’s responsibility to change who they are or tell them what to do, but it is your right to tell them that you are affected by it and have them try to see by how much. Exclaiming that they act childish and then turn around and letting your problems stew into resentment until your grudges blind you is also very hypocritical.

We are human, and as such it’s hard to accept or recognize our own faults when they happen.

But I guess I can see your side, too. 

It’s hard not to feel like the stupid things don’t affect you because you’re trying to make this relationship work. In this aspect, you cannot deny that you have optimism, that you’re not entirely “realistic.” It’s just at times I feel like you haven’t given it your all. If you close yourself off too soon, you’ll miss experiencing something meaningful. 

Maybe you have given it your all and I’m just not seeing it. And I guess for that, I’m sorry.

I guess that I’m just the kind of person who sees perfection where others see flaw.

Last Year’s Success Chart:

1. GET MY DRIVER’S LICENSE.
2. Pull off straight A’s on my transcript.
3. Draw the portrait version of my “left sleeve tattoo.”
4. Play more piano.
5. Use less internet lingo.
6. Be able to do ~100 push-ups and work on my nonexistent abs.
7. Stick to this Facebook challenge I’m attending.
8. Visit Jesus and Fishie. Then take pictures.
9. Travel to New York for my 21st birthday.
10. Finish my sketchbook that Kaylah gave to me for my birthday years ago.
11. STOP PROCRASTINATING.

Okay, so I didn’t really pay attention to last years resolutions. If anything, I used more internet lingo. A whole bunch of circumstances have changed the way this year played out and I suppose that has to do in part with 7 (which was to say ‘Yes’ to everything, AKA “The Yes Man Challenge”). As a result, I feel that I’ve gotten more social and confident. So, in a way, I guess I still achieved a bit of what I wanted to do.

I was actually surprised that I got the stuff I did crossed off. I think I would have managed to visit LA more than New York, but it ended up being the opposite. I also found that I was able to maintain a strong streak of push ups and stuff, so I’ve maintained myself if anything. And of course, the big one, I FINALLY got my license! I spend a lot of time giving rides to people to pay back my karma as it was for having asked for so many rides in the past. As it turns out, I like being a taxi. 

2012 is going to be an important year. This will pretty much be the year that will determine where my life will be going seeing as, you know, I’m graduating from college and stuff. Time to start anew.

New Years Resolutions for 2012:

1. GET A JOB.
2. Keep working to build Alpha Kappa Psi at UCSC.
3. Make some connections with my frat brothers.
4. Make connections with firms and work toward my CPA.
5. Try not to speak as softly/Speak with more confidence.
6. Go see/rent a movie once a week.
7. Read more books.
8. Workout everyday (in hopes of a slimmer figure).
9. Design that left sleeve tattoo.
10. Draw something new everyday, maybe an art project once a month.
11. Make a trip to LA, Canada, and/or New York and visit friends.

So yeah, intense. If you feel like helping out with any of these, (words of encouragement, good book/movie suggestions, sketch requests), I would welcome it. It’s going to be a tough year, but I also need to make time for myself and time for friends.

This year will test my time management skills more than anything. -SIGH-

I’m currently rejoicing at the fact that I have a sustainable WiFi connection right now. 

If you’re the least bit curious, I’m having a great time in New York. Today we went bowling and then Kaylah cooked us some cream cheese stuffed chicken breast with a rice pilaf. I finally watched Bridesmaids for the first time. It was so funny and slightly scarring at the same time. Now we’re watching the current Jeff Dunham special.

Tomorrow, we’re expecting to keep it lazy. Here’s my plan:

• We’ll be having delicious crepes for breakfast.
• I’ll probably go on Tumblr a lot.
• Maybe draw some more.
• And, because I’m staying with culinary students, we’ll most likely be marathoning episodes of Top Chef.

Also, Kaylah will be cooking a big Xmas dinner and Caitlin will be baking us a spice cake. I’m so excited!

Talk to you guys tomorrow! I’ll be wishing for my first ever snow day/white Christmas tonight.

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